I haven’t written anything for ages. No notes, no hastily scribbled ideas on the back of an envelope. Nothing. In fact the most that I have written in the last few months has been a shopping list; and as we have moved to online deliveries I don’t think that I can really count that anymore. Clicking on my favourites list for redelivery from Tesco.com does not constitute an incisive assembling of witticisms and observations.
Why haven’t I written? Well – and here come my beautifully wrapped excuses – I had greatly longed for eye surgery which, despite being very successful, took me much longer to get over than anticipated, my business has started to take off and I have “been busy with the children”. All brilliantly plausible reasons, but excuses nonetheless. At times I have thought about it, but something has always got in the way. Procrastination? Maybe, but I get a lot done in my day. I’m never one for sitting still.
What inspired me to write again was watching the growing list of celebrities die this year. This year has been particularly vicious in the number who have shuffled off this mortal coil. Some have affected me more than others. When David Bowie and Alan Rickman went in the same week it was Alan Rickman that I knew I would miss more. I have great respect for David Bowie, but his music never touched me in the way that Alan Rickman and Juliet Stevenson’s relationship in Truly Madly Deeply did.
However the one that I feel genuinely sad about is Victoria Wood. An incredibly clever lady and such a great waste of talent. I sat on the front row of the Royal Albert Hall in 1996 watching her perform on her own for over 2 hours and was completely mesmerised by her intelligence and her wit. She was funny and she was herself. She didn’t need to fit into any idea of how to be, because she was great as she was. I’m not sure she ever espoused an “I am what I am” mentality. Maybe she didn’t need to. I can’t pretend to have known her, or feel the same sense of loss as her family. But she inspired me and I am sad that she has gone. She showed me that being a funny intelligent woman doesn’t mean that you need to be better than other people, or to put people down. She did stuff for herself and didn’t stop working at what she loved; what she was amazingly good at. She got on with it. So no more excuses or putting stuff off for me. I want to be like Victoria.